Thursday, 4 February 2016

Celebrate Your Achievements

Many people just don’t take the time to stop and acknowledge what they have achieved. It could be a very small accomplishment or a huge deal, but if we don’t stop and take stock of it, we’re essentially telling ourselves that what we’ve done doesn’t matter, that it’s not worthy of acknowledgement or celebration.

 Now, I’m not talking balloons and cake (well, not always) but some sort of private or personal acknowledgement. Some people buy themselves a little trinket or that fancy vacuum they’ve been coveting. Others get a massage or have that very special glass of champagne with friends or co-workers.

The focus here is to take the time to praise yourself. When the mind and body get that positive reinforcement, they’ll like it and will want more. You’ll find it will become easier to do whatever it is you’ve set your mind to because you’re kind to yourself when you reach your goals or achievements.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Jedi Mind Tricks

Jedi Mind Tricks

Star Wars is probably one of my favourite films, and when working on intention, I often suggest that my clients use Jedi mind tricks. This is in reference to the scene in the film when the Stormtroopers are looking for two specific droids and Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi Knight, is able to deflect them simply by using the Jedi mind tricks and saying with great conviction and influence, “These are not the droids you are looking for.” Through his sureness alone, he’s able to convince the Stormtroopers that it’s true, that those are not the droids they were looking for, when in fact, they were.

Holding on to your intention throughout both setting goals and taking action is very important. To have intention for a particular conversation or negotiation, for instance, is to be laser focused on the desired outcome. If you’re clear on that, you’ll be better able to recognize any and all available opportunities to achieve it.

When you’re going into a situation that you’re unsure of or nervous about, you can apply a Jedi mind trick and draw confidence from your intention. I’ve learned that when I focus on positive outcomes and hold the intention for them, good things happen much more often.

Carlos: A Story of the Jedi Mind Trick in Action

As an example, one of my clients, Carlos, was about to buy a house but felt that the seller needed to lower the price by £50K (c.$80K) to reflect remedial works that needed to be carried out. He was anxious about the meeting that had been arranged, and we discussed it in preparation. I asked him what his intention for the meeting was.

“Well, to get a lower price,” he said.

“Why does the house warrant a lower price?” I asked.

He explained about all the work the house needed and how he felt that justified an appropriate price reduction.

“Okay,” I said. “You know what you want and why. Exactly what is the intention for this meeting?”
“To get the seller to approve a £50K reduction in the cost of the property because I’m going to have to spend that on things that should have already been done.”

“Are you comfortable that that figure is appropriate?”
“Yes,” he said.

“Right, then,” I said. “So you know what you want to do with this conversation. Keep that intention at the forefront of your mind. Your intention is ‘I want this person to take off £50K’. Go and look the seller in the eye and think, ‘I want to pay £50K less’, and actually hold the full price you want to pay in your mind.”

Carlos got the discount, bought the house, did a year’s worth of renovations, and moved in. 
The FORCE was strong in that one! 

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Give YourSelf Permission to Have FUN

Do you sometimes think, “Well, I just don’t have the time to have fun”, “I don’t want to seem silly or frivolous,” or “Having fun makes no money”?

If so, what happens then? Do you have fun anyhow? Or negate that side of you?

Now consider how you feel after having had a little fun, a good laugh, or a wild dance? How do your mind and body feel at this point? I suspect you might feel lighter, calmer, and maybe even freer.

Many people feel that having fun is a waste of time or that they shouldn’t be taking the time out. In the conventional workplace, having fun is seen as goofing off or unproductive. Increasingly, however, many of the new companies, especially technology companies like Google and Yahoo! have come to see that it’s good to encourage play and, in fact, it increases productivity.

I cannot tell you how many clients look at me blankly when I ask them what they do for fun. They have no idea, and when pressed to come up with something, they squirm in their seats and often show real resistance to giving themselves permission to even think of doing something for themselves. This is when I ask them to tell me what they used to do for fun when they were younger, less busy and had fewer responsibilities. Finally, they remember something, a flicker of recognition crosses their faces and they visibly relax.

Exercise: Fun
What did you use to do that made you happy? Something that was a lot of fun? Is there an element of whatever it was that you could take and blend with your current lifestyle? What would the activity look like now? What actions would you need to take to make this fun activity happen?

So, are you willing to give fun a go and not feel guilty about it? Many find they’re far more productive at home and work after having had a little fun and are more engaged with those around them. So, why not go out and make fun be your priority this holiday season?

Saturday, 24 January 2015

Exercise: Putting YourSelf First

Think of a few times when you put other people’s needs before your own or have not done what was in your best interest because you thought something or someone else mattered more than you. Now identify what would have been in your best interest and why. Last, assess whether your actions have truly hurt anyone. 

For instance: Your friend likes this guy and has dragged you to five events this month alone to see him. He has no interest in her, and you’re starting to get embarrassed, but you want to support your friend and you want her to like you. Now she wants you to go to another party. It’s coming up to finals time and you have exams in some of your most difficult subjects. You really should study because you really need to get top grades so you can keep your scholarship. Your usual self, the one that’s telling you that you don’t matter as much as she does, would go to the party. If you did, you would essentially be saying to yourself and others and that you felt your friend’s needs were more important more than yours. This is where the cycle of disrespecting yourself starts, and in doing so, you’re also giving others permission to disrespect you. In reality, your friend has other people to go with (and even if she doesn’t, that’s not your responsibility), and she’s actually just bullying you. It’s up to you to be responsible for how your life turns out, and that exam could be a huge part of that! 

So, make an inventory of when you put others’ needs first when you probably should have prioritised your own. With just a little insight into when you’re putting others’ worth relative to your own and with some idea about when you can better support yourself, you’ll be able to think and, hopefully, recognise that you matter. You are going to have to make a conscious effort at first. Some frustrations may surface as you realise when you’ve been giving your personal power away, but hold hard and don’t get upset, as it’s just not worth it.

Excerpt from "Give YourSelf Permission to Live Your Life", by Priya Rana Kapoor available on, Amazon and local retailers.

Sunday, 23 November 2014

5 Tips for a Happier Holiday Season!

IIt’s the end of November. Thanksgiving is almost upon us. Christmas is coming. 

Maybe you’re already dreading the turkey and pumpkin pie, the caroling and elves, the tinsel and bows. Maybe for you, Thanksgiving is a solid day spent in the kitchen, wrangling with a quirky oven to not to burn the stuffing, while crowds of family members mill around with growing appetites and shortening tempers. Christmas means a tangle of stress: shopping in heavy traffic, miserable weather, family tension, increased demands at work, an annoying profusion of green and red and “Ho Ho Ho!”s.

Unfortunately, for many of us, all we have to look forward to from the holidays is stress and failed expectations. We can so easily miss the joy of the season, and all the good things it has to offer. With this in mind, Give YourSelf Permission would like to present you with...

5 Tips for a Happier Holiday Season!

1) Take a Break! (GYSP to take care of yourself…)

Take a fireside, hot chocolate and/or wine evening to yourself. Turn off the TV, silence the phone, set down the iPad and turn on the Christmas tunes. In the busyness of the holidays, it becomes even more crucial to take time to rest. Doing so will make you better equipped to handle the additional demands. Harken to the words of “Winter Wonderland” and do some dreaming by the fire.

2) Let Aunt Viv make the turkey... (GYSP to know your values and delegate)

While you’re sitting by the fire, take the time to ask yourself what you want to get out of this holiday season. Identify your values, and act on them. Delegate the cooking responsibilities for the Thanksgiving meal instead of trying to do it all yourself. Don’t do all the Christmas shopping for your mom and siblings, let them chose their own gifts for the family. Identifying your strengths and wants and playing to them, as well as everyone else’s, is the quickest way to bring peace of mind in the hustle and bustle.

3) Send Christmas Cards online (GYSP to be brave, and make a change)

“Shocking!”, you might say. “They wouldn’t be Christmas Cards without a handwritten address and postage stamp.” However, companies such as American Greetings and Blue Mountain offer simple customizable Christmas eCards without a stop at the post office. Don’t be afraid to take advantage of modern technology and change traditions: this is the 21st century!

4) Watch It’s a Wonderful Life (GYSP to be happy and grateful)

This movie is an excellent reminder to live with a mindset of gratitude for all the delights of life. As 2014 draws to a close, look back on the year with a positive outlook, focusing on the highs instead of the lows. Let yourself be happy, and say “Thank you”. This will do worlds of good for your personal satisfaction.

5) Online Shopping (GYSP to build your Dream Team)

Save gas and time by doing your Christmas shopping online! Amazon and Ebay have skyrocketed in popularity in recent years, and offer fast and affordable (sometimes free!) shipping to consolidate your efforts. Or, better yet, don’t worry so much about buying more things to stockpile in the house––consider giving the gift of an experience: a family night at the movies, a fun date for frozen yogurt, a camping trip, or a girl’s only nails outing. Memories last longer than any wrapped present.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas. May your holidays be filled with peace, love and joy,

Priya xxx
For more information visit

Monday, 20 October 2014

How does egg freezing work and what are the benefits?

Now that Apple and Facebook have decided to pay for egg freezing for their female employees, I thought it might be time to resurrect this piece! What are your thoughts? Would love to start a discussion!