The Beauty and Strength of Collaboration

Valentine's Day and Our Permission to Love

I was never a big fan of Valentine’s Day.  I would host fabulous anti-Valentine’s Day parties with black hearts hanging upside down from the ceiling, and shame on the person who chose to wear red or pink.  I served margaritas instead of champagne. They were not dreary singles’ parties – in fact, the guest lists included couples who appreciated my anti-establishment mentality. 

Cynicism and soppiness of the fourteenth day of February aside, I’ve recently been pondering the utility of Valentine’s Day for different people.  It’s not only singles who dread Valentine’s Day – some couples feel overly pressured by it as well.  Yet certain people do not only love the holiday, they need it.  Valentine’s Day provides for some a necessary outlet to express love and gratitude in a structured manner.

Some of us are more comfortable expressing our love for those around us every day.  But for those of us who are not, Valentine’s Day provides a defined means of expression.  Some may scoff at the contrived nature of overpriced boxes of chocolates, giant bouquets of roses, fancy watches or elegant 3-course meals.  But there is comfort in routines like this, and these offerings can be equally expressive of appreciation and love as more unconventional gifts.  Though means may differ, the love is equally legitimate.

As someone who formerly was none too enamoured with Valentine’s Day, I am sympathetic to some of the issues readers may have with the holiday.  But I recently came to the realization that our feelings towards Valentine’s Day have nothing to do with the materialist aspects or with the pressures of being either single or in a partnership on this day.  Our feelings fall within the realm of our control, and we must take the personal responsibility that comes along with controlling how we feel.  We cannot change the systemic nature of Valentine’s Day, but we can control how we approach the events of the day and how we treat others. 

Love occupies numerous dimensions – it can be shown not just to partners, but also to co-workers, neighbours, friends, family and humankind.  But sharing love requires giving ourselves permission to do so.  There are difficulties in opening oneself up to others and feeling secure with such strong emotions.  The fears and vulnerabilities attached to expressions of love prevent many of us from loving fully during the year.  Valentine’s Day thus serves as a safe haven where such expressions are not only encouraged, but expected.  Valentine’s Day facilitates our displays of commitment, care, support, and appreciation.

I know I will feel more fulfilled just showing love to others on the day, regardless of my connection to them.  Humanity is so often caught up in the intricacies of personal lives that we often forget that we are in this together.  A little positive energy can enhance the experiences of so many people, and it often takes little more than a polite “how are you?” and a smile to change the course of a day.  This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to giving yourself permission to appreciate and show love for ALL those you care about.

Contributor: Denise Ge

Make Your 2013 Vision Board - 7 Easy Steps

Simply put, a Vision Board is a poster size “collage” of images and words which depicts the vision you have for your life. It is not an arts and crafts project. I encourage many of my clients, both male and female, to use this technique to access goals, values, actions and needs they sometimes find difficult to articulate verbally or in the written word. The Vision Board is the end product of an intuitive and creative process that can be enjoyed and referred back to when you need focus or encouragement.

I’ve seen articles about what “right” way to make  vision board, but I don’t think there is a right or wrong way, it’s a very individual project and you need to find the way that works for you.

The key to a good Vision Board is be open to whatever comes up, trust your instincts, pay attention to the process of making it and have fun. I also would say think big, most of my clients limit themselves by thinking too small.

Step1:

Develop a clear idea of what you want this specific Vision Board to represent (e.g. work goals for 2013, parenting goals, giving or service goals, self-care goals, life goals, health goals etc. etc.-or everything together). My intention was to have a board that represented what I wanted for my work in 2013. I knew I wanted to get my book published in 2013, but there was nothing too clear beyond that. However by doing the board all the supporting actions became apparent.

Step 2:

Choose about 4 or 5 magazines you think are interesting and relevant to your 2013 goals. Don’t think too hard; just pick the ones which jump out at you. Also pick a board in any colour that takes your fancy.

Step 3:

Go through the magazines and just rip out the pages with images, titles and quotes that speaks to you, or evokes some positive or empowering emotion or feeling. Also, keep your focus on the intention for the board. In this case what you want for your life in 2013. Again, don’t think too hard, just keep ripping, you can always triage later. I would suggest doing this in one sitting to get momentum. You will know when you have enough material.

Step 4:

Mock up or find online anything imperative to the board you did not find in the magazines. I (tentatively) mocked up a cover of the book and added the desired publisher’s logo to the cover. I also found a 2013 header I liked and I would suggest adding a picture of yourself as it puts you in the scenario and vision.

Step 5:

Cut out everything you found from the ripped pages. Start to look at what you chose and see if there is anything that surprises you or if there are patterns emerging. By looking at some of the phrases I had chosen I started to see that it was time for me to take real, strong and meaningful action.

Step 6:

Start pasting the images onto the board. I sometimes find the larger images can anchor the corners and then smaller images can overlap the larger. Take your time with this, but I would suggest doing this in one sitting too. You will start to see themes and groupings and you can paste relevant images together. It really is up to you and what makes sense to you.

Step 7:

Admire your work, focus on your intention and understand what your actions need to be to realize your goals. Some of the images evoke a feeling or thought for you but may mean something different to others, but don’t worry... it’s your board and you can show it, or hide it, from whomever you please.

If anyone wants to share their boards with me, I would love to see them. You can email them to me at priya@prkcoaching.com.

Happy Vision Boarding and Happy Planning!