Celebrate Your Achievements

Many people just don’t take the time to stop and acknowledge what they have achieved. It could be a very small accomplishment or a huge deal, but if we don’t stop and take stock of it, we’re essentially telling ourselves that what we’ve done doesn’t matter, that it’s not worthy of acknowledgement or celebration.

 Now, I’m not talking balloons and cake (well, not always) but some sort of private or personal acknowledgement. Some people buy themselves a little trinket or that fancy vacuum they’ve been coveting. Others get a massage or have that very special glass of champagne with friends or co-workers.

The focus here is to take the time to praise yourself. When the mind and body get that positive reinforcement, they’ll like it and will want more. You’ll find it will become easier to do whatever it is you’ve set your mind to because you’re kind to yourself when you reach your goals or achievements.

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Exercise: Putting YourSelf First

Think of a few times when you put other people’s needs before your own or have not done what was in your best interest because you thought something or someone else mattered more than you. Now identify what would have been in your best interest and why. Last, assess whether your actions have truly hurt anyone. 

For instance: Your friend likes this guy and has dragged you to five events this month alone to see him. He has no interest in her, and you’re starting to get embarrassed, but you want to support your friend and you want her to like you. Now she wants you to go to another party. It’s coming up to finals time and you have exams in some of your most difficult subjects. You really should study because you really need to get top grades so you can keep your scholarship. Your usual self, the one that’s telling you that you don’t matter as much as she does, would go to the party. If you did, you would essentially be saying to yourself and others and that you felt your friend’s needs were more important more than yours. This is where the cycle of disrespecting yourself starts, and in doing so, you’re also giving others permission to disrespect you. In reality, your friend has other people to go with (and even if she doesn’t, that’s not your responsibility), and she’s actually just bullying you. It’s up to you to be responsible for how your life turns out, and that exam could be a huge part of that! 

So, make an inventory of when you put others’ needs first when you probably should have prioritised your own. With just a little insight into when you’re putting others’ worth relative to your own and with some idea about when you can better support yourself, you’ll be able to think and, hopefully, recognise that you matter. You are going to have to make a conscious effort at first. Some frustrations may surface as you realise when you’ve been giving your personal power away, but hold hard and don’t get upset, as it’s just not worth it.

Excerpt from "Give YourSelf Permission to Live Your Life", by Priya Rana Kapoor available on www.GYSPermission.com, Amazon and local retailers.

'Give YourSelf Permission to Live Your Life' by Priya Rana Kapoor, Author Video

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Why it is Not Selfish to Take Care of Yourself First

Excerpt from "Give YourSelf Permission to Live Your Life" by Priya Rana Kapoor
Chapter Three: The Permission Journey

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. —Carlos Castaneda

The ultimate purpose of this book is to give you the space, desire, and tools to give yourself permission to live your life.

Giving yourself permission means allowing yourself to think and do what you think is best for yourself. People consistently balk at this comment. Many of my clients say, “I can’t just think of myself; I have my children to worry about,” or “It’s not all about me; my parents would be so disappointed.” They often worry that they’ll be seen as selfish and often truly believe that they are being self-centred.

I would like to challenge that thinking. When you go on a plane and the safety announcement says that in case of emergency, you should put on your oxygen mask before helping others. Why do you think they say that?

Imagine a scenario in which a mother sees her oxygen mask drop in front of her face and knows that the flight attendant has instructed her to put hers on first. Instead, she looks over at her small child and decides to reach for his first. He is vulnerable; he needs her help. She takes the time to unbuckle her belt and reach over. Her son is upset and reaching for her, squirming in his seat. She has to tussle with him before she can pull down his oxygen mask, and doing so has taken a lot of time; too much, in fact. The grim reality is that she could pass out due to lack of oxygen and become incapable of helping him put his mask on. Even if the child is still conscious, he probably isn’t able to reach the mask and doesn’t even know what to do with it. They may both die, utterly needlessly.

This depressing analogy highlights that it is imperative for you to take care of yourself before helping others, for their sake as much as yours. And that means allowing yourself to figure out what taking care of yourself means. When we take care of ourselves, we make ourselves strong enough to take care of others.



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